Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds – Choice Does

Why waiting isn’t enough — and how your healing begins the moment you decide. (Estimated reading time: 4 minutes)

 
We’ve all heard the phrase: “time heals all wounds.” It’s comforting on the surface, but also misleading. Time can dull the sharpness of pain, yes. Memories fade, intensity softens. But the truth is, time alone does not heal. Without conscious choice, old wounds often linger in the body and subconscious, quietly shaping how we love, work, and show up in the world.

Real healing begins not with the clock, but with the moment you decide to face what’s been ignored, soften into what’s been armored, and release what’s been weighing you down.

Why Time Alone Isn’t Enough

Unresolved trauma, unspoken pain, or deeply ingrained patterns don’t simply evaporate with age. Neuroscience shows that the brain is plastic — meaning it can rewire itself at any stage of life (Norman Doidge, The Brain That Changes Itself). But neuroplasticity doesn’t activate automatically with the passage of time. It requires attention, intention, and repetition.

This is why many people feel like they’ve been “stuck” in the same struggles for years. The body and subconscious hold onto unfinished stories, replaying them until we intervene.

Time may dull the edge, but without conscious engagement, wounds often compound.

Why Choice Changes Everything

Choice is what transforms suffering into growth. When you choose to heal, you tell your nervous system: “It’s safe to rewire.” When you choose to meet your pain with compassion, you begin to loosen the survival strategies that once protected you but now hold you back.

This is the moment life begins to shift. Suddenly, old triggers lose their grip, relationships take on new depth, and joy feels more accessible. You no longer wait for healing to “happen someday.” You become the active participant in your own restoration.

Healing Is a Daily Decision

Healing isn’t about flipping a switch once. It’s about choosing — again and again — to return to your center. To pause instead of react. To breathe instead of numb. To reach for new tools instead of replaying old patterns.

In this way, healing is both simple and profound. You don’t have to wait for time to change you. You can choose, today, to begin changing your story.

Healing Takeaway

Ask yourself today: What is one small choice I can make that honors my healing? Maybe it’s journaling for ten minutes instead of scrolling. Maybe it’s calling someone safe to talk. Maybe it’s sitting with your breath instead of pouring a glass of wine. Healing starts with one small, repeated choice. Time doesn’t do the work. You do — and that’s what makes it powerful.

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References & Recommended Reading

•  Norman Doidge – The Brain That Changes Itself - Inspiring stories of neuroplasticity, showing the brain’s power to adapt and rewire at any age.
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. — foundational work on trauma, healing, and the body-mind connection.

• Carol Dweck – Mindset: The New Psychology of Success - Reveals the power of cultivating a growth mindset for learning, resilience, and achievement.

With care from my heart to yours,

Shannon

Shannon Sanguinetti M.Sc. | Founder of Repor - Where Science Meets Soul